So Small
by EClareObsession
Summary: ONE SHOT SONG FANFICTION: Jude still loves Spiederman, but does he love her back? Song Used: "So Small" By Carrie Underwood JUDERMAN JUDE AND SPIEDERMAN.


_**Yeah, yeah**_

It's easy to find love, but it's also easy to lose it, and let's just say; I usually lose it. My name is Jude Harrison, I was the first Instant star, and I love music. For the past year i've been trying to find love, but none of the guys i've dated can compare to this one special guy, Spiederman. Vincent Spiederman is my lead guitarist, and bestfriend. We used to date, but it didn't work out. I miss him dearly, and I always imagine what it'd be like if we were back together. I really wish we were. I let go of someone special, and now I am looking for someone knew. I guess you could say I never got over Vincent Spiederman...

_**What you got if you ain't got love**_

Truthfully, I don't have love. I am a lonely person. I have had many boyfriends; There was Jamie, Tommy, Kwest, Kyle, and then Spiederman. Spiederman was my last boyfriend, and now I'm all alone. Jamie broke up with me because I didn't help him get his job back a G-Major. Tommy broke up with me because he loved some model. Kwest broke up with me because he loved Sadie. Kyle broke up with me because he told me that Spiederman was his friend, and Spiederman had told him that he liked me. And me and Spiederman agreed on breaking up. Wierdly we were okay with it.. well he was. I actually hated breaking up with him. When we broke up, I came home and cried for hours and hours... God it was terrible..

_**The kind that you just want to give away**_

My other boyfriends have given they're love to another girl. I never was able to completely with-hold a guy. Most of the guys I dated were more of a 'Need a boyfriend to get over the last one' thing. Exept for Spiederman, i had true feelings for him. Sure, I sound obsessed, but I'm not. I just loved him so much, and regret the breakup... and it sucks.

_**It's ok to open up**_

I wish I'd open up to everyone about my feelings, but it's like i am scared of it. Yeah, you should always open up, but... we're talking about me telling Spiederman that I still madly in love with him. See what I mean? I could risk everything if I told him. If he doesn't feel it back then I will feel awkward around him, and it will just ruin our friendship, relationship and band. Theres too much on the line. I will tell him one day, but I doubt it's any time soon. And it's wierd, I am able to perform on stage with a new song and not even get worried, but I can't tell a guy how I feel?

_**Go ahead and let the light shine through  
I know it's hard on a rainy day**_

I watched at the rain fell on my bedroom window. It was my last year of highschool, and the prom was tomorrow, and I was dateless. I guess being famous doesn't help me when it comes to dates. Earlier today I had heard Spiederman, Wally, and Kyle talking about how Spiederman has a small thought of asking Wally's cousin, Monica, to the prom. I met Monica before and she's a grade A bitch. Excuse the language, but God, she's a brat. She 'accidently' spilled coffee on my white dress, and key word; accidently.

_**You wanna shut the world out and just be left alone**_

I locked myself in my room 2 hours ago. I wanted to be alone because I heard Spiederman talking about how much he liked Monica. And it made me feel crushed. I felt empty in a world full of crying, heartbreak, and mistakes. I am isolated in my own love, and the only person that can pull me out of it is Vincent Spiederman, the most immature hottest guitarist I have ever met in my life. But he is full of suprises, he knows how to cheer you up on a bad day, and knows how to comfort you when something extremely terrible happens. He just knows when it's time to be serious, and when it's time to have a whole lot of fun.

_**But don't run out on your faith**_

I still have faith that me and Spiederman can be together in the future. But in about 2 months, i'll run out on faith. I hate to admit it, but it's hard holding on to something that's far away from reach, and it's hard to not let you're hands get slippery every once in a while. I regret the whole breakup, and everything that I've done in the past. I guess mistakes happen, and it's all fate

_**Cause sometimes that mountain you've been climbing  
Is just a grain of sand**_

I have trouble getting over a lot of stuff. I keep climbing up this mountain, that ends up to be nothing. I have never gotten the love that I wanted. When i was with Spiederman, I wanted Tommy. When I was with Tommy I wanted Spiederman. It's a cruel, harsh world that we live in, and it makes everything shred to pieces. A lot of people say love isn't love unless it's with that one special person. And I personally agree. I have never been in love, unless it was with Spiederman. To me, he seems like that special person

_**And what you've been out there searching for forever  
Is in your hands**_

I have been searching for love, but the truth is, it's right in my hands. Spiederman is right in front of me, so why am i still searching? I'll tell you why; it's because he's searching for it too, so maybe to him I'm just that girl that he plays guitar for, and nothing more. When he loved me, I didn't love him back, and I regret not loving him. I mean, he is the most loving, and caring person ever, and don't forget the hottest! I doubt he likes me, I mean, what would he even see in me?

_**&& when you figure out love is all that matters after all**_

Love is something that you need in life. It's hard to go through life without it, and I know if I don't find love then my life will be completely miserable. Love is all that matters after all, and it is something that life requires, well at least for me. I wonder if Spiederman really likes Monica, I mean, is she really his special girl, or am I?

_**It sure makes everything else seem  
So small**_

I do need a lot of other things in my life like; music, fun, and a family. But Spiederman is fun, he loves music, and he can be the other half of my family! So love is all I really need. Have you ever met that one person that could make you smile even if you were in the worst mood ever? Or the guy that could sing his heart out, but still make fun of his song after he was done? If you have then you have met a Vincent Spiederman. Without him, life wouldn't be as fufilled.

_**It's so easy to get lost inside  
A problem that seems so big at the time**_

When I liked Tommy, but was dating Spiederman it seemed like this huge problem. But ended up being nothing. I mean, all i had to do was stop and look at everything that was in front of me. And I wish i did, because I would of realized that Spiederman was always there for me, not Tommy. I guess that was the biggest mistake of my love life. And yes, I admit it, it was a big mistake and i'd take it back for anything. I would love to feel Spiederman's arms wrap around me, and he'd kiss my cheek softly.

_**It's like a river that's so wide it swallows you whole**_

After these thoughts I had fallen asleep. The next morning I woke up and stared at the prom dress that hung on my door. I stopped staring when someone opened the door

"Hey" Spiederman said. I looked like a mess!

"Hey" I shyly replied.

"Uhm... can I talk to you?" he asked me nervously.

"Go ahead" I responded

"See.. I was wondering if you'd like to go to prom with me tonight..?" He asked

"I'd love too" I answered. YES! He asked me to go with him!

"Great, Kyle's date Monica. And Wally's date Sarah will come around 2, and we'll pick you up in the limo at 6." He exclaimed. I smiled

"Sound's great" I replied.

"Bye" He said walking out.

_**While you're sitting around thinking about what you can't change**_

It was 5:50 and me and the girls were waiting for the limo. I was wearing a black dress that went to the middle of my thigh, my hair was put up in a pony tail, and I wore silver high heels. Monica was wearinh a silver sparkle dress that went to the middle of her thigh, with silver high heels. She had her brown hair curly. And finally Sarah, was wearing a white dress that went a little after her knee, and her red hair was also down and curly.

_**And worrying about all the wrong things**_

I sat there thinking of what we would do tonight. Was this going to be a friend date? Or a date-date? God, it was killing me inside. Soon the limo arrived and the guys came to the door. They all were wearing traditional tux. They came inside to take pictures. First Sarah and Wally took when, then Spiederman and me, and finally Kyle and Monica. Then me and the girls took one. Then the boys took one together. And for the final picture everyone was in it. Yeah, I know. Way to many pictures!

_**Time's flying by, moving so fast  
You better make it count cause you can't get it back **_

After 5 minutes we had arrived at the prom. A slow song began to play and everyone was slow dancing exept for me and Spiederman.

"So.." I said trying to get him to ask me to dance.

"Uhm... what do you want to do?" He asked.

"I don't know" I lied. I wanted to dance with him so damn bad! And time was flying fast, they were already on they're 3rd slow song, and me and Spiederman haven't danced.

_**Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing  
Is just a grain of sand**_

"Want to dance?" He asked me. YES! Finally!

"Sure." I calmly answered. My song came on, liar liar, and we slow danced to it.

"I was just thinking of something" He told me

_**And what you've been out there searching for forever  
Is in your hands**_

"What?" I asked him. He waited a minute before thinking.

"Nothing.." He answered. I gave him the 'tell me' look. "I swear! It's nothing" He stated

_**Oh, and when you figure out love is all that matters after all**_

"Oh.. I was wondering, is there anything that I don't know about you?" I asked. He looked me in the eyes.

"There's just one thing that you don't know.." He told me.

_**It sure makes everything else seem  
So small. yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah  
**_

"And what would that be?" I asked. He smiled at me.

"Is there anything that I don't know about you?" He asked me, avoiding the question.

_**Sometimes that mountain you've been climbing  
Is just a grain of sand**_

"Just one thing..." I answered

"And what would that be?"' He asked me. I put on a devilish grin.

_**And what you've out there searching for forever  
Is in your hands**_

"You didn't tell me your's!" I replied

"FIne, on the count of three we'll say it.

_**And then you figure out love is all that matters after all**_

"1, 2, 3" He counted

"I still love you!" We both said at the same time. We smiled.

"You really do?" He asked

"Yes.." I answered

"Can I kiss you?" He asked like he was 5.

"You don't have to ask" I said right before I kissed him. I guess I don't always lose love.

_**It sure makes everything else  
Oh, it sure makes everything else seem  
So small  
Yeah, yeah**_


End file.
